Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Old Ladies’ Home by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Ode For Ted by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Notes To A Neophyte by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Nick And The Candlestick by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• New Year On Dartmoor by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Never Try To Trick Me With A Kiss by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Mussel Hunter At Rock Harbor by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Morning In The Hospital Solarium by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Moonsong At Morning by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Monologue At 3 AM by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Miss Drake Proceeds To Supper by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Metamorphoses Of The Moon by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Memoirs Of A Spinach-Picker by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Mary’s Song by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Man In Black by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Mad Girl’s Love Song by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Love Is A Parallax by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Letter To A Purist by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• Letter In November by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath
• A Lesson In Vengeance by Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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