Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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External links

Bat’s Poetry Page – more poetry by Fledermaus

Talking Writing Monster’s Page –

Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• The Carter by William Barnes by William Barnes
• The Bwoat by William Barnes by William Barnes
• The Brook That Ran By Gramfer’s by William Barnes by William Barnes
• The Bells Ov Alderburnham by William Barnes by William Barnes
• The Bean Vield by William Barnes by William Barnes
• The Beam In Grenley Church by William Barnes by William Barnes
• The Beäten Path by William Barnes by William Barnes
• The Bachelor by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Thatchen O’ The Rick by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Teaken In Apples by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Sweet Music In The Wind by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Sound O’ Water by William Barnes by William Barnes
• A Snowy Night by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Slow To Come, Quick Agone by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Sleep Did Come Wi’ The Dew by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Shrodon Feäir by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Shaftesbury Feäir by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Ruth A-Ridèn by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Rivers Don’t Gi’e Out by William Barnes by William Barnes
• Riden Hwome At Night by William Barnes by William Barnes

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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