Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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External links

Bat’s Poetry Page – more poetry by Fledermaus

Talking Writing Monster’s Page –

Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• Василий Лебедев-Кумач – Спортивный марш by Василий Лебедев-Кумач
• Василий Лебедев-Кумач – Солнце садится by Василий Лебедев-Кумач
• Василий Тредиаковский – Видеть все женские лица by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – В сем озере бедные любовники by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – В белости ее румяной by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – Песенка любовна by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – Описание грозы, бывшей в Гааге by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – О коль мне тамо сладка веселия было by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – Ну, так уже я не стал быть вашим отныне by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – Невозможно быть довольным by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – Мое сердце все было в страсти by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – Леший и мужик by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – К почтению, льзя объявить любовь by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – Дворы там весьма суть уединенны by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Тредиаковский – Будь жестока, будь упорна by Василий Тредиаковский
• Василий Жуковский – Деревенский сторож в полночь by Василий Жуковский
• Василий Жуковский – Цветок by Василий Жуковский
• Василий Жуковский – Человек by Василий Жуковский
• Василий Жуковский – Был у меня товарищ by Василий Жуковский
• Василий Жуковский – Бородинская годовщина by Василий Жуковский

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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