Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Essay on Man poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Epistles to Several Persons: Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Epistles to Several Persons: Epistle IV, To Richard Boyle, poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Epistle II: To A Lady (Of the Characters of Women) poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Epigram Engraved on the Collar of a Dog Which I Gave to His Royal Highness poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Eloisa to Abelard poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Elegy to the Memory of an Unfortunate Lady poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Couplets on Wit poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• Argus poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• An Essay on Man in Four Epistles: Epistle 1 poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• An Essay On Criticism poem – Alexander Pope by Alexander Pope
• The Rape of the Lock: Canto 4 poem – Alexander Pope poems | Poetry Monster by Poetry In English
• The Rape of the Lock: Canto 3 poem – Alexander Pope poems | Poetry Monster by Poetry In English
• The Rape of the Lock: Canto 2 poem – Alexander Pope poems | Poetry Monster by Poetry In English
• The Rape of the Lock: Canto 1 poem – Alexander Pope poems | Poetry Monster by Poetry In English
• The Rape of the Lock poem – Alexander Pope poems | Poetry Monster by Poetry In English
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Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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