Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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External links

Bat’s Poetry Page – more poetry by Fledermaus

Talking Writing Monster’s Page –

Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• Song—A Fiddler in the North by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Song—A Bottle and Friend by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Sketch—New Year’s Day, 1790 by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Sketch in Verse, inscribed to the Right Hon. C. J. Fox by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Second Epistle to Robert Graham, Esq., of Fintry by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Second Epistle to J. Lapraik by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Second Epistle to Davie by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Scots, Wha Hae Wi’ Wallace Bled by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Scots Prologue for Mr. Sutherland by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Sappho Redivivus: A Fragment by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Robert Bruce’s March to Bannockburn (Song) by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Rhyming Reply to a Note from Captain Riddell by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Reply to the Threat of a Censorious Critic by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Reply to an Announcement by J. Rankine by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Reply to a Trimming Epistle, received from a Tailor by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Remorseful Apology by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Remorse: A Fragment by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Prologue, spoken by Mr. Woods at Edinburgh by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Prologue spoken at the Theatre of Dumfries by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Prayer—O Thou Dread Power by Robert Burns by Robert Burns

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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