Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• Poor Mailie’s Elegy by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Poem on Sensibility by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Pegasus at Wanlockhead by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Paraphrase of the First Psalm by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• One Night as I did Wander by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On the late Captain Grose’s Peregrinations by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On the Death of Robert Dundas, Esq., of Arniston by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On the Death of John M’Leod, Esq. by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On the Birth of a Posthumous Child by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On Tam the Chapman by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On seeing Mrs. Kemble in Yarico by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On Scaring some Water-Fowl in Lock Turit by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On Glenriddell’s Fox breaking his chain: A Fragment by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On Elphinstone’s Translation of Martial’s Epigrams by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• On Chloris requesting a sprig of blossom’d thorn by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Oh Wert Thou In The Cauld Blast by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Ode, Sacred to the Memory of Mrs. Oswald of Auchencruive by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Ode on the Departed Regency Bill by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Ode for General Washington’s Birthday by Robert Burns by Robert Burns
• Note to Mr. Renton of Lamerton by Robert Burns by Robert Burns

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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