Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• The English Flag by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Egg-Shell by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The ‘eathen by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Dove of Dacca by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Destroyers by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Derelict by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Deep-Sea Cables by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Declaration of London by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Dead King by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Day’s Work by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Craftsman by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Conundrum of the Workshops by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Comforters by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Coastwise Lights by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Children’s Song by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Captive by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Burial by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Broken Men by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Betrothed by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Benefactors by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling

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Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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