Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• The Reformers by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Recall by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Rabbi’s Song by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Quesion by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Queen’s Men by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Puzzler by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Prodigal Son by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Pro-Consuls by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Prayer of Miriam Cohen by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Law of the Jungle by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Last Rhyme of True Thomas by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Last of the Light Brigade by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Last Department by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Land by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Lament of the Border Cattle Thief by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Ladies by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Kingdom by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Jester by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• The Jacket by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling
• THE IRISH GUARDS by Rudyard Kipling by Rudyard Kipling

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Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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