Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Sonnet CXXX: My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnet CXXX by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Winter by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• When to the sessions of sweet silent thought (Sonnet 30) by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• When that I was and a little tiny boy by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes (Sonnet 29) by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Venus and Adonis by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Under the Greenwood Tree by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Three Songs by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• The Quality of Mercy by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• The Phoenix and the Turtle by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Spring in New Hampshire by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnets CXVI: Let me not to the marriage of true minds by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnet LXXI by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnet LXX by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnet LXVII by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnet LXVI by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnet LXV by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnet LXIX by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare
• Sonnet LXIV: When I Have Seen by Time’s Fell Hand Defac’d by William Shakespeare by William Shakespeare

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Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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