Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• A New Year’s Resolution to Leave Dundee by William Topaz McGonagall by Anglo File
• A Humble Heroine by William Topaz McGonagall by Anglo File
• A Descriptive Poem on the Silvery Tay by William Topaz McGonagall by Anglo File
• A Christmas Carol by William Topaz McGonagall by Anglo File
• On The Porch At The Frost Place, Franconia, N. H. by William Matthews by Anglo File
• On the Nativity of Christ by William Dunbar by William Dunbar
• On a Soldier Fallen in the Philippines by William Vaughn Moody by Anglo File
• Ode to My Guitar by William Wright Harris by Anglo File
• No Return by William Matthews by Anglo File
• Mingus At The Showplace by William Matthews by Anglo File
• Memory by William Browne by Anglo File
• Lament for the Makers by William Dunbar by William Dunbar
• Job Interview by William Matthews by Anglo File
• In Honour of the City of London by William Dunbar by William Dunbar
• Homer’s Seeing-Eye Dog by William Matthews by Anglo File
• Gloucester Moods by William Vaughn Moody by Anglo File
• Earliest Spring by William Dean Howells by Anglo File
• Composed Upon Westminster Bridge by William Wordsworth by Anglo File
• Britannia’s Pastorals by William Browne by Anglo File
• Between the Dusk of a Summer Night by William Ernest Henley by Anglo File

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

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Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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