Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• From Milton: And did those feet by William Blake by William Blake
• Blind Man’s Buff by William Blake by William Blake
• XVI: Some Verses: Of Conquerouris by William Alexander by William Alexander
• XV: Some Verses: Ciprian’s Smyling by William Alexander by William Alexander
• XIV: Some Verses: To Mr. Edward Allane by William Alexander by William Alexander
• XIII: Some Verses: On A Report On The Death Of The Author by William Alexander by William Alexander
• A Slumber did my Spirit Seal by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Sketch by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Poet’s Epitaph by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Poet! He Hath Put His Heart To School by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Parsonage In Oxfordshire by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Morning Exercise by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Jewish Family In A Small Valley Opposite St. Goar, Upon The Rhine by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Gravestone Upon The Floor In The Cloisters Of Worcester Cathedral by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Fact, And An Imagination, Or, Canute And Alfred, On The Seashore by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Complaint by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• XII: Some Verses: Sonnet, To The Authour by William Alexander by William Alexander
• XI: Some Verses: To His Worthy Friend Master Walter Quin by William Alexander by William Alexander
• X: Some Verses: To His Most Affectionate Friend Mr. Lithgow by William Alexander by William Alexander
• VII: Some Verses: On The Death of John Murray by William Alexander by William Alexander

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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