Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• A New Broom by Witt Wittmann by Anglo File
• A Form Of Women by Robert Creely by Anglo File
• A Sonnet Occasioned by the Bad Weather Which Hindered the Sports at New-Market in January, 1616 by William Drummond by Anglo File
• A Little Te Deum Of The Commonplace by John Oxenham by Anglo File
• Telephone Conversation by Wole Soyinka by Anglo File
• I think it rains by Wole Soyinka by Anglo File
• Dedication From Moremi by Wole Soyinka by Anglo File
• As Like The Woman As You Can by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• A Thanksgiving by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• At Queensferry by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• A New Song to an Old Tune by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• A Love By The Sea by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• A Late Lark Twitters From The Quiet Skies by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• A Dainty Thing’s The Villanelle by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• Blithe Dreams Arise To Greet Us by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• Beside The Idle Summer Sea by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• Ballade Of Youth And Age by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• Ballade Of Truisms by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• Ballade Of A Toyokuni Colour-Print by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley
• Ballade Of Midsummer Days And Nights by William Ernest Henley by William Ernest Henley

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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