Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Stepping Westward by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Star-Gazers by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Stanzas by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Stanzas Written In My Pocket Copy Of Thomson’s “Castle Of Indolence” by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Spanish Guerillas by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Sonnet: On seeing Miss Helen Maria Williams weep at a tale of distress by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Sonnet: “It is not to be thought of” by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Song Of The Wandering Jew by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Song Of The Spinning Wheel by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Song at the Feast of Brougham Castle by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Simon Lee: The Old Huntsman by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Siege Of Vienna Raised By Jihn Sobieski by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• She Was A Phantom Of Delight by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• September, 1819 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• September 1815 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• September 1, 1802 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Scorn Not The Sonnet by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Say, What Is Honour?–‘Tis The Finest Sense by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Ruth by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Rural Architecture by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth

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Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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