Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• The Seven Sisters by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Sailor’s Mother by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Russian Fugitive by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Reverie of Poor Susan by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Redbreast Chasing The Butterfly by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Prioress’s Tale [from Chaucer] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Primrose of the Rock by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Power of Armies is a Visible Thing by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Pet-Lamb by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Passing of the Elder Bards by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Old Cumberland Beggar by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Oak Of Guernica Supposed Address To The Same by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Morning Of The Day Appointed For A General Thanksgiving. January 18, 1816 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The King Of Sweden by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Idle Shepherd Boys by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Horn Of Egremont Castle by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Highland Broach by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Happy Warrior by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Green Linnet by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• The Germans On The Heighs Of Hochheim by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth

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Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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