Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Yarrow Revisited by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Written With A Slate Pencil On A Stone, On The Side Of The Mountain Of Black Comb by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Written Upon A Blank Leaf In “The Complete Angler.” by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Written In Very Early Youth by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Written in March by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Written in London. September, 1802 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Written In Germany On One Of The Coldest Days Of The Century by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Written In A Blank Leaf Of Macpherson’s Ossian by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• With Ships the Sea was Sprinkled Far and Nigh by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• With How Sad Steps, O Moon, Thou Climb’st the Sky by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Who Fancied What A Pretty Sight by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Where Lies The Land To Which Yon Ship Must Go? by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• When To The Attractions Of The Busy World by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• “When I Have Borne In Memory” by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Weak Is The Will Of Man, His Judgement Blind by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Water-Fowl Observed Frequently Over The Lakes Of Rydal And Grasmere by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Waldenses by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• View From The Top Of Black Comb by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Vernal Ode by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Vaudracour And Julia by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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