Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Bat’s Poetry Page – more poetry by Fledermaus

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Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• The Incurious Bencher by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Hip by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Happy Lunatic by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Frog’s Choice by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Dog and the Bear by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Devil Outwitted by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Coquette by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Captive Trumpeter by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Busy Indolent by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Bowling-Green by William Somervile by William Somerville
• The Bald-Pated Welshman and the Fly by William Somervile by William Somerville
• Song by William Somervile by William Somerville
• On Presenting to a Lady a White Rose and a Red on the Tenth of June by William Somervile by William Somerville
• On Miranda’s Leaving the Country by William Somervile by William Somerville
• Mahomet Ali Beg; Or, the Faithful Minister of State by William Somervile by William Somerville
• Liberty, and Love; or, the Two Sparrows by William Somervile by William Somerville
• Hunting Song by William Somervile by William Somerville
• Hudibras and Milton Reconciled by William Somervile by William Somerville
• Hobbinol; or The Rural Games by William Somervile by William Somerville
• Hobbinol; or The Rural Games – Canto 3 by William Somervile by William Somerville

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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