Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Address To The Scholars Of The Village School Of — by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Address To Kilchurn Castle, Upon Loch Awe by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Address To A Child During A Boisterous Winter By My Sister by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Wren’s Nest by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Whirl-Blast From Behind The Hill by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Prophecy. February 1807 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Night Thought by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Night-Piece by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Narrow Girdle Of Rough Stones And Crags, by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Flower Garden At Coleorton Hall, Leicestershire. by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Farewell by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• A Character by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Upon a Lady’s Fall Over a Stile, Gotten by Running From Her Love by William Wycherley by William Wycherley
• To his Indifferent Mistress by William Wycherley by William Wycherley
• The Poor Lover to His Rich Mistress about to Marry His Coxcombly Rival by William Wycherley by William Wycherley
• Sleep and Death by William Wycherley by William Wycherley
• On a Sea Fight, Which the Author was in, Betwixt the English and Dutch by William Wycherley by William Wycherley
• Love and Wine by William Wycherley by William Wycherley
• In Praise of Laziness by William Wycherley by William Wycherley
• Drinking-Song, A. To a Formal, Proud, Sober Coxcomb by William Wycherley by William Wycherley

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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