Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Calais, August 1802 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Calais, August 15, 1802 by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• By The Side Of The Grave Some Years After by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• By The Seaside by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• “By Moscow Self-Devoted To A Blaze” by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• “Brook! Whose Society The Poet Seeks” by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• British Freedom by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• “Brave Schill! By Death Delivered” by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Bothwell Castle by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Twelfth [Imagination And Taste, How Impaired And Restored ] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Thirteenth [Imagination And Taste, How Impaired And Restored Concluded] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Third [Residence at Cambridge] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Tenth {Residence in France continued] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Sixth [Cambridge and the Alps] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Seventh [Residence in London] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Second [School-Time Continued] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Ninth [Residence in France] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Fourth [Summer Vacation] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book Fourteenth [conclusion] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth
• Book First [Introduction-Childhood and School Time] by William Wordsworth by William Wordsworth

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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