The First Wife

A poem by Violet Nicolson, Lawrence Hope, Adela Florence Cory Nicolson (1865 – 1904)

Ah, my lord, are the tidings true,

That thy mother’s jewels are shapen anew?

I hear that a bride has chosen been,

The stars consulted, the parents seen.

Had I been childless, had never there smiled

The brilliant eyes from the face of a child,

Then at least I had understood

This thing they tell me thou findest good.

But I have been down to the River of Death,

With painful footsteps and shuddering breath,

Seven times; thou hast daughters three,

And four young sons who are fair as thee.

I am not unlovely, over my head

Not twenty summers as yet have sped.

‘T is eleven years since my opening life

Was given to thee by my father’s wife.

Ah, those days–They were lovely to me,

When little and shy I waited for thee.

Till I locked my arms round my lover above,

A child in form but a woman in love.

And I bore thy sons, as a woman should,

Year by year, as is meet and good.

Thy mother was ever content with me–

And Oh, Beloved, I worshipped thee!

And now it’s over; alas, my lord,

Better I felt thy sharpest sword.

I hear she is youthful and fair as I

When I came to thee in the days gone by.

Her breasts are firmer; this bosom slips

Somewhat, weighted by children’s lips.

But they were thy children. Oh, lord my king,

Ah, why hast thy heart devised this thing ?

I am not as the women of this thy land,

Meek and timid, broken to hand.

From the distant North I was given to thee,

Whose daughters are passionate, fierce and free,

I could not dwell by a rival’s side,

I seek a bridegroom, as thou a bride.

The night she yieldeth her youth to thee,

Death shall take his pleasure in me.

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• Новелла Матвеева – Я, говорит, не воин by Новелла Матвеева
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