My Sad Self poem – Allen Ginsberg

To Frank O’Hara

Sometimes when my eyes are red

I go up on top of the RCA Building

and gaze at my world, Manhattan-

my buildings, streets I’ve done feats in,

lofts, beds, coldwater flats

-on Fifth Ave below which I also bear in mind,

its ant cars, little yellow taxis, men

walking the size of specks of wool-

Panorama of the bridges, sunrise over Brooklyn machine,

sun go down over New Jersey where I was born

& Paterson where I played with ants-

my later loves on 15th Street,

my greater loves of Lower East Side,

my once fabulous amours in the Bronx

faraway-

paths crossing in these hidden streets,

my history summed up, my absences

and ecstasies in Harlem-

-sun shining down on all I own

in one eyeblink to the horizon

in my last eternity-

matter is water.

Sad,

I take the elevator and go

down, pondering,

and walk on the pavements staring into all man’s

plateglass, faces,

questioning after who loves,

and stop, bemused

in front of an automobile shopwindow

standing lost in calm thought,

traffic moving up & down 5th Avenue blocks behind me

waiting for a moment when …

Time to go home & cook supper & listen to

the romantic war news on the radio

… all movement stops

& I walk in the timeless sadness of existence,

tenderness flowing thru the buildings,

my fingertips touching reality’s face,

my own face streaked with tears in the mirror

of some window-at dusk-

where I have no desire-

for bonbons-or to own the dresses or Japanese

lampshades of intellection-

Confused by the spectacle around me,

Man struggling up the street

with packages, newspapers,

ties, beautiful suits

toward his desire

Man, woman, streaming over the pavements

red lights clocking hurried watches &

movements at the curb-

And all these streets leading

so crosswise, honking, lengthily,

by avenues

stalked by high buildings or crusted into slums

thru such halting traffic

screaming cars and engines

so painfully to this

countryside, this graveyard

this stillness

on deathbed or mountain

once seen

never regained or desired

in the mind to come

where all Manhattan that I’ve seen must disappear.

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Poems in English 

• The Gardener XIX: You Walked by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XIV: I Was Walking by the Road by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XIII: I Asked Nothing by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener X: Let Your Work Be, Bride by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LXXXIV: Over the Green by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LXXXIII: She Dwelt on the Hillside by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LXXXI: Why Do You Whisper So Faintly by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LXXVI: The Fair Was On by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LXXV: At Midnight by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LXVIII: None Lives For Ever, Brother by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LXIX: I Hunt for the Golden Stag by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LXIV: I Spent My Day by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LV: It Was Mid-Day by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LIX: O Woman by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener LI: Then Finish the Last Song by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener IX: When I Go Alone at Night by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener IV: Ah Me by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Further Bank by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Flower-School by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The First Jasmines by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore

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