Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Like Truthless Dreams, So Are My Joys Expired by Sir Walter Raleigh by Walter Raleigh
• Life by Sir Walter Raleigh by Walter Raleigh
• His Pilgrimage by Sir Walter Raleigh by Walter Raleigh
• Her Reply by Sir Walter Raleigh by Walter Raleigh
• Farewell to the Court by Sir Walter Raleigh by Walter Raleigh
• Epitaph by Sir Walter Raleigh by Walter Raleigh
• A Literature Lesson. Sir Patrick Spens in the Eighteenth Century Manner by Sir Walter Raleigh by Walter Raleigh
• A Farewell to False Love by Sir Walter Raleigh by Walter Raleigh
• On Catullus by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• Of Clementina by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• Corinna, from Athens, to Tanagra by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• Ianthe! You are Call’d to Cross the Sea by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• Mother, I cannot mind my Wheel by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• Ianthe by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• Child of a Day by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• Late Leaves by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• One Lovely Name by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• On An Eclipse Of The Moon by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• Mild is the Parting Year by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor
• I Entreat You, Alfred Tennyson by Walter Savage Landor by Walter Savage Landor

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Doska or the Board – write anything

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Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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