Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Batty Writing – the bat’s idle chatter, thoughts, ideas and observations, all original, all fresh

Poems in English 

• God Neither Known Nor Loved By The World by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Glory To God Alone by William Cowper by William Cowper
• From The Greek Of Julianus by William Cowper by William Cowper
• From Menander by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epitaph On Mrs. M. Higgins, Of Weston by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epitaph On Johnson by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epitaph On Fop, A Dog Belonging To Lady Throckmorton by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epitaph On A Free But Tame Redbreast, A Favourite Of Miss Sally Hurdis by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epitaph On Mr. Chester Of Chicheley by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epigram : To Leonora Singing At Rome (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epigram : To Christina, Queen Of Sweden, With Cromwell’s Picture (Translation) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epigram : The Cottager And His Landlord. A Fable (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epigram : On The Inventor Of Gunpowder (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Epigram : To Leonora Singing At Rome 2 (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Elegy VII. Anno Aetates Undevigesimo (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Elegy VI. To Charles Diodati, When He Was Visiting In The Country (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Elegy V. Anno Aet. 20. On The Approach Of Spring (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Elegy III. Anno Aet. 17. On The Death Of The Bishop Of Winchester (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Elegy II. On The Death Of The University Beadle At Cambridge (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper
• Elegy I. To Charles Deodati (Translated From Milton) by William Cowper by William Cowper

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

Dealing Monster

Doska or the Board – write anything

Search engines:

Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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