Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Robert Burns: The Epitaph: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Elegy On Captain Matthew Henderson: A Gentleman who held the Patent for his Honours immediately from Almighty God. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Election Ballad: At the close of the contest for representing the Dumfries Burghs, 1790. Addressed to R. Graham, Esq. of Fintry. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Gudewife, Count The Lawin: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: I Murder Hate: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: The Gowden Locks Of Anna: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Elegy On Willie Nicol’s Mare: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Lines To A Gentleman,: Who had sent the Poet a Newspaper, and offered to continue it free of Expense. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Scots’ Prologue For Mr. Sutherland: On his Benefit-Night, at the Theatre, Dumfries. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Sketch -New Year’s Day [1790]: To Mrs. Dunlop. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Prologue Spoken At The Theatre Of Dumfries: On New Year’s Day Evening, 1790. by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Election Ballad For Westerha’: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: The Five Carlins: An Election Ballad by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Epistle To Dr. Blacklock: Ellisland, 21st Oct., 1789 by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: To Mary In Heaven: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: The Whistle -A Ballad: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: My Heart’s In The Highlands: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: The Captive Ribband: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: A Waukrife Minnie: by Robert Burns
• Robert Burns: Awa’ Whigs, Awa’: by Robert Burns

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

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Doska or the Board – write anything

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Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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