Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• The Land of the Exile by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Judge by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Journey by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Hero by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gift by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XXXVIII: My Love, Once upon a Time by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XXXIV: Do Not Go, My Love by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XXVIII: Your Questioning Eyes by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XXIV: Do Not Keep to Yourself by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XXII: When She Passed by Me by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XXI: Why Did He Choose by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XX: Day After Day He Comes by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XVI: Hands Cling to Eyes by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XLVIII: Free Me by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XLVI: You Left Me by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XLV: To the Guests by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XLIV: Reverend Sir, Forgive by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XLIII: No, My Friends by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XLII: O Mad, Superbly Drunk by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore
• The Gardener XL: An Unbelieving Smile by Rabindranath Tagore by Rabindranath Tagore

More external links (open in a new tab):

Russian Commerce Agency

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Doska or the Board – write anything

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Yandex – the best search engine for searches in Russian (and the best overall image search engine, in any language, anywhere)

Qwant – the best search engine for searches in French, German as well as Romance and Germanic languages.

Ecosia – a search engine that supposedly… plants trees

Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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