Stalker poem – Alice Notley – The Poetry Monster

The light so thick nothing’s visible, cognoscenti

I knew them, stupid apes. Real apes know more

Before we said apes. I know how to be you bet-

ter?—?a stupid voice. You must find a mind

to respect?—?why? There was someone with ear

buds, speaking gibberish who wouldn’t

stop walking beside me; freckle-spattered. I

had to ask the métro attendant for help;

she extricated him from me … I respect his chaotic

speech, mild adhesive force because it makes no sense.

I am back on the alley, discovering adults are un-

trustworthy: someone’s lying … about a

fight between a teenage girl and boy?—?he pushed

her hard?—?first she badly scratched him, she’s worse, his

mother says. I’m back at pre-beginning, I don’t

want to go through that again. There is no

sexuality in chaos, there’s no style, nor

hope. I want style?—?apes have style, people

have machines. Show me something to respect

This bleuet growing out of a wall on rue d’Hauteville.

I picked it and pressed it in a diary. Every once

in a while I respect a moment. I am back at

pre-beginning: I don’t want to care beyond

this … sudden hue in the sand, yellow or spotted with an

hallucinated iridescence. The one who is

stalking me … there has often been someone stalk-

ing me. My destiny. He’s gone, stay here

in this, I can’t be harmed if I’m the only one who’s

thought of being here. Aren’t you lonely? I don’t know.