Remembering An Account Executive

A poem by Alan Dugan

He had a back office in his older brother’s

advertising agency and understood the human asshole.

He turned his father’s small inheritance over and over

on hemorrhoid ads between three-hour lunches

at the Plaza every day and cocktails at five-thirty

with different dressy women waiting in our front office.

We joked that he fucked them up the ass to make more customers

and were nauseated by him because he picked his ears

with the lead end of his lead pencil as he argued and argued

hemorrhoid copy with us on nauseating Mad. Ave. mornings.

Why argue? It must have been for executive power-feelings

because the copy never changed. Every week, the poor

bleeding assholes bought the shit. When my mind

began to get fucked and go as black as his inner ears

I quit as broke as I began, remembering his prophecy:

that the last working television set in the world

would be showing a hemorrhoid ad for ANUSALL

at Armageddon, that it would have been written

by him, that he would be watching it at 6:00 P.M.

in the bomb-cellar lounge of the Park Plaza Hotel

with a blonde’s ass in one hand and a scotch in the other,

and that he would die happy, with his old man’s

money intact and his asshole too, unlike us prat-boys.

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Poems in English 

• Sir Philip Sidney; Astrophel and Stella: XXIII by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Ring Out Your Bells by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Psalm 19: Coeli Enarrant by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Philomela by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Loving In Truth, And Fain In Verse My Love To Show by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Leave Me, O Love Which Reachest But To Dust by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Come Sleep, O Sleep! The Certain Knot Of Peace by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella: XXXIX by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella: XXXIII by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella: XX by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella: XV by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella: XLI by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella: XCII by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella VII: WhenNature Made her Chief Work by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel And Stella-Sonnet XXXI by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel And Stella-Sonnet LIV by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel And Stella; Sonnet CVIII by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella LXXXIV: HIGHWAY by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella: LXXI by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney
• Astrophel and Stella: LXIV by Sir Philip Sidney by Philip Sidney

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Duckduckgo – the real alternative and a search engine that actually works. Without much censorship or partisan politics.

Yahoo– yes, it’s still around, amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, but now it seems to be powered by Bing.

 

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