Eclogue:–Racketèn Joe by William Barnes

_Racketèn Joe; his Sister; his Cousin Fanny; and the Dog._
RACKETÈN JOE.
Heigh! heigh! here. Who’s about?
HIS SISTER.
Oh! lauk! Here’s Joe, a rantèn lout,
A-meäkèn his wild randy-rout.
RACKETÈN JOE.
Heigh! Fanny! How d’ye do? (_slaps her._)
FANNY.
Oh! fie; why all the woo’se vor you
A-slappèn o’ me, black an’ blue,
My back!
HIS SISTER.
A whack! you loose-eärm’d chap,
To gi’e your cousin sich a slap!
FANNY.
I’ll pull the heäir o’n, I do vow;
HIS SISTER.
I’ll pull the ears o’n. There.
THE DOG.
Wowh! wow!
FANNY.
A-comèn up the drong,
How he did smack his leather thong,
A-zingèn, as he thought, a zong;
HIS SISTER.
An’ there the pigs did scote
Azide, in fright, wi’ squeakèn droat,
Wi’ geese a pitchèn up a note.
Look there.
FANNY.
His chair!
HIS SISTER.
He thump’d en down,
As if he’d het en into ground.
RACKETÈN JOE.
Heigh! heigh! Look here! the vier is out.
HIS SISTER.
How he do knock the tongs about!
FANNY.
Now theäre’s his whip-nob, plum
Upon the teäble vor a drum;
HIS SISTER.
An’ there’s a dent so big’s your thumb.
RACKETÈN JOE.
My hat’s awore so quaer.
HIS SISTER.
‘Tis quaer enough, but not wi’ wear;
But dabs an’ dashes he do bear.
RACKETÈN JOE.
The zow!
HIS SISTER.
What now?
RACKETÈN JOE.
She’s in the plot.
A-routèn up the flower knot.
Ho! Towzer! Here, rout out the zow,
Heigh! here, hie at her. Tiss!
THE DOG.
Wowh! wow!
HIS SISTER.
How he do rant and roar,
An’ stump an’ stamp about the vloor,
An’ swing, an’ slap, an’ slam the door!
He don’t put down a thing,
But he do dab, an’ dash, an’ ding
It down, till all the house do ring.
RACKETÈN JOE.
She’s out.
FANNY.
Noo doubt.
HIS SISTER.
Athirt the bank,
Look! how the dog an’ he do pank.
FANNY.
Staÿ out, an’ heed her now an’ then,
To zee she don’t come in ageän.

—————

The End

And that’s the End of the Poem

© Poetry Monster, 2021.

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